I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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