Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
