sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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