like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
