i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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