I just cut my nipple shaving
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
