he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
