on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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