There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
