Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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