I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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