just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We talked him into tasing himself.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize