I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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