I'm lost and stupid without you.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
