You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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