***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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