She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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