I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize