Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
