you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize