dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
