That's when you crack a 10am beer
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize