Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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