My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
