I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
