Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
