Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
