is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
