Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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