Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I smell stomach acid.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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