Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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