I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Randomize
