I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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