It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
