IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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