Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
