I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
