She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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