there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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