the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
