So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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