how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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