Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
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