White coat. Heels.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
