we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
