Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
