so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He kissed a someone with a penis
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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