i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
