we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
