Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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