She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
