i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
