Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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