Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
