My hair reeks of homosexuality.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize