people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
