I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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