This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
