ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
