fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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