Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
