I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
