Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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