i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
